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Behold and Be Held

“There is a community of the spirit.
Join it, and feel the delight
of walking in the noisy street
and being the noise.

Drink all your passion and be a disgrace.
Close both eyes to see with the other eye.
Open your hands if you want to be held…

Move outside the tangle of fear-thinking
Live in Silence.
Flow down and down, 
In always widening rings of being.’

Rumi

To behold and be held, this is the rapturous state. When bird songs from afar quiver within the embrace of your expansive heart. Intimacy with all things. A closeness that forgets there was once two. With arms open, behold the grand song and dance. With restful eyes, be held by the arms of space Herself. Dwell in the ocean of wakefulness. Behold the glory, be held in grace.

This universe is a swirl of containing and contained, though the churning liquid knows no boundaries. Where do I end and you begin? Where is within, where is without? To be full, become empty. No one home. Release into the arms of the beloved where the soothing song of a silent lullaby will warm your soul. Little by little, loosen the grip. A closed hand grasps the acorn, an open hand grasps the infinite. It is the open hand of God that holds you and leaves you free to wander as you please.

Wander home, wander home. The stillness within holds the treasure you seek. The radiant star that lights the cosmos, individuated but not separate. The light from within and the light from without are the same. The ghost that whispers of “me” and “mine” clings to the phantasmagoria. But no one’s home, no one’s home.

No one’s home because we are the home. We are the field, we are the play of light. Shed the heavy shackles of “I am this” and “I am that”. Who are you before you know who you are? Hush, listen slowly my dear. Give up the search, the answer is not hidden in the brush. Face to face with eternal presence. Free falling, no ground beneath. The way to become weightless is to fall eternally. Down, down, heed the call of our mother earth, for us to return to Her.

You can never be alone. You are held by the endless embrace. Behold and be held. See and be seen. Listen and speak, sigh and creek, like the wise old willow who dances in the wind. We can dance too, our spirits free to drift along with the breeze. Oh lovely child of the Ultimate, do you remember? Do you remember where we come from? Do you remember where we’re going?

To behold and be held, the two sides of God’s face reflected in every dew drop. Feel yourself from the outside in. We are not bound up in this narrow prison. Give yourself up, the ultimate release. Bring death to each moment to find your peace. Can you hear it? The thick, swelling silence? Marinate, steep, dissolve, expand. Come home to your soul, bear the blinding light and don’t turn away from the deepest darkness. Dive in, go deeper, deep deep deep down till you lose the seeker.

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Breath of the Violin

We become hypnotized, really; by all the flashing lights, the attention grabbing displays. We are creatures of habit. What are your habits, creature? Are you, like me and so many others, drawn into the incessant, urgent and unquenchable thirst for stimulation? When is the last time you took a shit without looking at your phone? When is the last time you ate a meal without watching or listening to some form of media. When is the last time you woke up in the morning and sat quietly looking at the sunbeams filtering through the leaves outside your window and igniting dust particles like tiny suns.

No, I wake up and I open up instagram. Scroll, scroll, scroll, waiting for the dreariness to fade so that I can finally end the “okay NOW it’s really time to get up” cycle. Take hold of your attention! The way you point your attention is the way you create your future. If the hand molds clay, attention molds the spirit. Are you fixated on fantasies of past and future? I mean RIGHT NOW, are you living in the narrative or is your attention engaged with the entirety of this moment, this moment, as the wind of possibility blows through the flute of your body-mind, as you hold your physical form, slouched and deflated, or tall and dignified. As you furrow your brow, scrunch up your forehead, clench your jaw, and pull your shoulders up and in as if frightened by a night that is too dark and deep.

In breath, out breath, the violin bow that plays your part in the symphony of life. What tone will you sound? Will your melody quiver with the uncertainty of a timid wanderer in foreign lands? Or will your draw be long and smooth, calling out into the endless sea with whispers of love. Will you open up to the unknown, sound the strange and unfamiliar sounds with the peaked curiosity of discovery in full swing?

It’s a wide world and the steps you take are yours. They are all you have really, possessions crumble but the song you sing echoes in the hearts of all you touch and our hearts hold the memory of the evolution of life on this planet. The trauma, the loss, the rage of self preservation, the lessons missed but also the lessons learned. The moments of strength when a soul chose love instead of fear, when the energy of new life and new possibilities overcame the drudgery of conditioning, the momentum of misery.

It’s the little things. It’s those small moments where if you quiet down enough you can hear the whisper “this is important”. When you cough out the words “I love you” to your brother, even though they got stuck in your throat. When you close the laptop and take a step outside for the first time in the day, even though the animal in you that has been seeking comfort and security in the familiar for millenia begs for you to stay under the blanket. When you hold your tongue instead of speaking with reactive anger.

It is with each outbreath that we birth our actions. The energy of new possibilities moves through our conscious and subconscious mind to manifest in action. Our thoughts open up into our lived reality, like a plant sprouting from a seed pod. The astute gardener is careful not to allow weeds to take hold. Like a climbing ivy, self-destructive behaviors crawl in and steal the light of new growth. A fresh you cannot be born when your energy is tied up in patterns that don’t serve you.

Plant seeds of self-love, patience and compassion then reach towards the light. Stretch towards your vision of what could be and be filled with gratitude. Stretch beyond yourself, relax the imagined boundary that places “you” inside your skin and “the world” out there. You are more mixed up in this whole thing than you might think. Through you, the voice of what-is is calling. But don’t squeeze the handle bars, lift up your arms like wings, put on a full body smile, and lean in the direction you want to go.

This world will carry you to your wildest fantasy and beyond. You don’t have to dream big, but dream freely. Dream like you’re a painter and the canvas is all yours. Dream like you lost yourself, then go to the place you would want to find yourself, and there you will be. Dream like the forest is full of mystery and wonder and no one really knows what could be out there. Because it is, and we don’t.

We all put on a face like we know what we are doing. None of us really know what we are doing. We all remember when we realized our parents are just as confused and baffled as the rest of us. When will we admit that we don’t know? We don’t know what we’re doing here. We don’t know how, or why or from where this wild stormy existence sprang.

But here we are, let’s take charge! Let us choose kindness, let us remain open to the life-long lessons of self-care. Let us embrace the furthest reaches of our power to create, to give birth to a new moment, a new way to be here, alive. Evolution is in our hands, on the wings of imagination we will soar to new heights. And poised aloft in this celestial kingdom, we will shine the light of love across all the lands.