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Behold and Be Held

“There is a community of the spirit.
Join it, and feel the delight
of walking in the noisy street
and being the noise.

Drink all your passion and be a disgrace.
Close both eyes to see with the other eye.
Open your hands if you want to be held…

Move outside the tangle of fear-thinking
Live in Silence.
Flow down and down, 
In always widening rings of being.’

Rumi

To behold and be held, this is the rapturous state. When bird songs from afar quiver within the embrace of your expansive heart. Intimacy with all things. A closeness that forgets there was once two. With arms open, behold the grand song and dance. With restful eyes, be held by the arms of space Herself. Dwell in the ocean of wakefulness. Behold the glory, be held in grace.

This universe is a swirl of containing and contained, though the churning liquid knows no boundaries. Where do I end and you begin? Where is within, where is without? To be full, become empty. No one home. Release into the arms of the beloved where the soothing song of a silent lullaby will warm your soul. Little by little, loosen the grip. A closed hand grasps the acorn, an open hand grasps the infinite. It is the open hand of God that holds you and leaves you free to wander as you please.

Wander home, wander home. The stillness within holds the treasure you seek. The radiant star that lights the cosmos, individuated but not separate. The light from within and the light from without are the same. The ghost that whispers of “me” and “mine” clings to the phantasmagoria. But no one’s home, no one’s home.

No one’s home because we are the home. We are the field, we are the play of light. Shed the heavy shackles of “I am this” and “I am that”. Who are you before you know who you are? Hush, listen slowly my dear. Give up the search, the answer is not hidden in the brush. Face to face with eternal presence. Free falling, no ground beneath. The way to become weightless is to fall eternally. Down, down, heed the call of our mother earth, for us to return to Her.

You can never be alone. You are held by the endless embrace. Behold and be held. See and be seen. Listen and speak, sigh and creek, like the wise old willow who dances in the wind. We can dance too, our spirits free to drift along with the breeze. Oh lovely child of the Ultimate, do you remember? Do you remember where we come from? Do you remember where we’re going?

To behold and be held, the two sides of God’s face reflected in every dew drop. Feel yourself from the outside in. We are not bound up in this narrow prison. Give yourself up, the ultimate release. Bring death to each moment to find your peace. Can you hear it? The thick, swelling silence? Marinate, steep, dissolve, expand. Come home to your soul, bear the blinding light and don’t turn away from the deepest darkness. Dive in, go deeper, deep deep deep down till you lose the seeker.

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How Do I Fix These Imperfections?

‘Since beginningless time, darkness has thrived in the void, but always yields to purifying light.’

The Lion-Turtle

I often find myself wondering what it really means to help someone. Because I have poured significant time and energy into personal growth, I have been exposed to a variety of extremely helpful insights from wise teachers of ancient and modern times. So when a friend comes to me in need, what is the most effective way to help them? This is a process I am still evolving through and at my current phase, I am focusing on a wonderfully simplifying practice. Listening with loving-kindness.

Upon reflection, I have noticed that it is easy for me to get into fix-it mode. After all, that is what I do when I am facing a challenge internally, I investigate my way down to the root of the issue to understand it and unlock its grasp on me. There are many wise techniques and mindsets I have discovered that help facilitate this process. So I often find myself saying “try this!” or “what if you look at it this way!” While I feel there is a place for this kind of guidance, I am finding more and more the importance of quieting down and simply holding a compassionate space where they can move through their own process.

It can be very easy to notice “flaws” in the way that others behave or think. We can forget that even when others are in pain and confused, it is only the wisdom within themselves that can guide them forwards. Most of the time, it seems to me, the best way to help them heal is to give the gift of unconditional love; love that doesn’t grasp at who they are or push them to who they could become. 

The healing power of acceptance is mysterious and powerful. I think fear and doubt hold us back from this. The fear that if we accept who we are or who they are, we will never really change, if we allow ourselves to be just as we are, we will have to acknowledge and live with all our imperfections. Herein lies another great paradox of being, only through relentless acceptance does change really come. 

Part of the mechanism behind this counterintuitive truth lies in the subtle affirmation that comes with denying something. When I say “don’t think of a pink elephant!” we all know where the mind goes. So when I say “if only I could stop being so judgemental of my body!” or “I want to let go of this depression, I am ready! Please!” I am subtly strengthening the position of that which I hope to move beyond. I am affirming that I do not love my body, or that I am depressed.

This is a very funny game we play with ourselves. If someone were to come and tell us “you are choosing to feel depressed” we would be outraged! We know, with certainty, that we want to stop feeling depressed, that we have tried and failed over and over. How dare they suggest it is a choice! But it is that very certainty that keeps us locked up.

So when working with our own emotions, instead of pouring our energy into opposing things as they are, it is essential that we accept the way we feel. We must allow ourselves to be as we are. This is loving-kindness, it is acceptance despite all the imperfection. Something really quite magical happens when we simply (not easily, but simply) allow ourselves to fully feel what we are feeling, to no longer deny or oppose. We start to heal!

It happens naturally and effortlessly because love is underneath all of our opinions and positions. The universe is loving and healing at it’s foundation. Think about it, do you know how you heal a cut on your finger? Not even a little. Every corpuscule of our being is filled with healing light and when we allow ourselves to be as we are, we bring the loving spaciousness necessary for that light to shine.

So when I am with a friend or family member or stranger, I am working to bring more of that loving-kindness into my heart. To see them as they are and accept that they are in the right place on their path of development. The pain that people hold comes to them through the infinite dance of time, it is not our place to judge them or try to fix them. Only when they feel loved will they find the space they need to heal from within.