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Behold and Be Held

“There is a community of the spirit.
Join it, and feel the delight
of walking in the noisy street
and being the noise.

Drink all your passion and be a disgrace.
Close both eyes to see with the other eye.
Open your hands if you want to be held…

Move outside the tangle of fear-thinking
Live in Silence.
Flow down and down, 
In always widening rings of being.’

Rumi

To behold and be held, this is the rapturous state. When bird songs from afar quiver within the embrace of your expansive heart. Intimacy with all things. A closeness that forgets there was once two. With arms open, behold the grand song and dance. With restful eyes, be held by the arms of space Herself. Dwell in the ocean of wakefulness. Behold the glory, be held in grace.

This universe is a swirl of containing and contained, though the churning liquid knows no boundaries. Where do I end and you begin? Where is within, where is without? To be full, become empty. No one home. Release into the arms of the beloved where the soothing song of a silent lullaby will warm your soul. Little by little, loosen the grip. A closed hand grasps the acorn, an open hand grasps the infinite. It is the open hand of God that holds you and leaves you free to wander as you please.

Wander home, wander home. The stillness within holds the treasure you seek. The radiant star that lights the cosmos, individuated but not separate. The light from within and the light from without are the same. The ghost that whispers of “me” and “mine” clings to the phantasmagoria. But no one’s home, no one’s home.

No one’s home because we are the home. We are the field, we are the play of light. Shed the heavy shackles of “I am this” and “I am that”. Who are you before you know who you are? Hush, listen slowly my dear. Give up the search, the answer is not hidden in the brush. Face to face with eternal presence. Free falling, no ground beneath. The way to become weightless is to fall eternally. Down, down, heed the call of our mother earth, for us to return to Her.

You can never be alone. You are held by the endless embrace. Behold and be held. See and be seen. Listen and speak, sigh and creek, like the wise old willow who dances in the wind. We can dance too, our spirits free to drift along with the breeze. Oh lovely child of the Ultimate, do you remember? Do you remember where we come from? Do you remember where we’re going?

To behold and be held, the two sides of God’s face reflected in every dew drop. Feel yourself from the outside in. We are not bound up in this narrow prison. Give yourself up, the ultimate release. Bring death to each moment to find your peace. Can you hear it? The thick, swelling silence? Marinate, steep, dissolve, expand. Come home to your soul, bear the blinding light and don’t turn away from the deepest darkness. Dive in, go deeper, deep deep deep down till you lose the seeker.

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In Karma or In Grace

‘It is important to expect nothing, to take every experience, including the negative ones, as merely steps on the path, and to proceed.’

Ram Dass

Operating in Karma happens when we are reactive, when we behave unconsciously. Coming into Grace happens when we bring a careful, compassionate awareness to the unfolding of our conscious experience. In the latter state, we shine the light of understanding onto the patterns of unfolding and see clearly the lines of cause and effect that dictate our behavior.

For example, I spill my coffee on myself in the car and become very angry. When observing calmly and compassionately, I notice that I am lashing out for a few reasons: I am experiencing pain (which I wish to avoid), my car is now messy (I like it clean), and I have lost my drink (which I was attached to). By seeing into these patterns of behavior, we can begin to step outside of them, take a deep breath, watch anger come, and redirect that energy to clear apprehension of the reality of the circumstance (i.e. there is coffee spilled, I have lost a loved one, I was called a mean name by a friend, etc.).

Once we see things more clearly, we can act more appropriately and in accordance with, rather than resistance to, Reality.  So when my car gets towed (as happened to me last week), I am not carried away by “oh no, I wish this didn’t happen, this is all your fault, etc.” If a loved one dies, we do not push the truth away, we open up to it and cry our damn souls out. When we begin to step out of these conditioned, unconscious reactions (Karma), we step into Grace.

From the calm heart-center, we are able to embrace our creative powers to generate the reality we wish to see around us. We begin to realize our power to choose our thoughts, to kindly let go of self-destructive fabrications (I am unworthy, I am a failure, I have no power). That does not mean to chastise oneself “how could you be so stupid, why did you do/say that horrible thing!?” It means, in each moment, to drop the story about who you are and what you are doing, and to just love and create. Love yourself, love others and create the moment the way you wish it to be.

It is a terribly difficult pursuit and I daresay it isn’t for everyone. But if you are curious and determined, anyone can make real progress on this path. One essential and effective method is to, in each moment, “love, serve, and remember,” as Ram Dass would say. This means to love everyone (including yourself despite your apparent shortcomings), serve those beings around you (help them to find peace by being patient, open and caring), and remember God (remember that as all this is unfolding, it’s all God, meaning that it is all one united whole, no parts are separate, it is all the song of Universe/Heaven/Tao/Truth/Reality).

If we keep coming back to the moment compassionately, the untruths that we manifest will have no soil to grow in. As we allow these neurotic tendencies to quiet, we come to a still and grounded place deep within our being. From this place, we can weather the storms. Rather we can rip off our clothes and dance in the rain. The only way to be free of suffering in this life is to dive headfirst into the fire. Open up to the pain and nothing can shake you from the peaceful center. This is the destination of spiritual practice as I have come to apprehend it. We each have our own Journey, Godspeed!