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The Unsatiated Mind

‘When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you’

Lao Tzu

Have you ever stood before the spattering of oranges and purples of a magnificent sunset and felt somehow unable to absorb its beauty? Have you ever gazed out from a mountain top and felt somewhat empty and distanced from the experience? Many of us have felt like ineffective participants in the experience of beauty, as though we can’t find that feeling we know we are supposed to be having.

Have you ever reached the end of a carton of ice cream and felt like you rushed through the joy of eating it, almost as though the pleasure drifted past beyond your reach as the cold creamy dessert made its way across your tongue? All of us have had the experience of feeling unfulfilled by moments like this in our lives. Why does this happen and how can we learn to really taste the sweet nectars of beauty and pleasure in this life?

The key lies in redirecting our attention within. Thanks to the conditioning of a disconnected culture, we have come to expect external circumstances to fulfill our needs and to provide us with the feelings we are looking for. Unfortunately, this mindset will send us on a wild goose chase and bring us frustration as the moments we thought would fill us end up lacking the luster we expected. 

It is essential to recognize that the feeling of incompleteness, of “not enough”, of seeking wholeness without, springs from not feeling whole within ourselves. Why don’t we feel whole? Because we have become alienated from our spirits. We have disconnected from our hearts. We have forgotten that we are already enough, we belong right where we are. There is nothing we need to do to prove we are worthy of love. We are already worthy, imperfections and all.

This sense of alienation arises predominantly from the religion of science – materialism. Our culture is built upon the assumption that the universe is fundamentally composed of lifeless matter. Western science has no place for conscious awareness, or spirit. Therefore, very deep down, we come to feel like imposters on this earth. From that feeling of not belonging, we start to feel like we have to somehow prove ourselves in order to belong. 

Instead of feeling that you are dropped into this strange environment called earth, recognize that you are one of the puzzle pieces that makes up this universe. Each of us is an essential piece of this ocean of consciousness and we are already okay as we are. Of course, we each have to learn how to live from the goodness in our hearts and there is a place for progress and development. But to truly evolve, we have to align with where we are now, because evolution always happens in the present moment. We won’t get anywhere denying ourselves as we are.

Once we start to come into ourselves, we can tune in to the fulfillment that is always available. It is from this place of wholeness that we don’t have to grasp at the sunsets dance of light, and we won’t feel empty once the ice cream is gone. Because those are not the things that fill us up, our hearts are already full of love and acceptance and integration into the greater world that we are a piece of. From this place, we are a geyser of gratitude, not a storm drain of pain endlessly sucking up the waters of life and never feeling full 

From this place, beauty can be found wherever the gaze lands. A dew drop resting tenderly on a drooping leaf is more fulfilling than you could have ever imagined. The tiniest drop of ice cream on your tongue permeates your being with satisfaction and pleasure. With practice, we can even open up to pain (both emotional and physical) and find Joy there too. It may sound silly to suggest that one can feel Joy in wallows of sorrow and grief, but many of us know it to be true.  

Rejoice! You are alive! Life is full of discomfort and pain but if we can learn to relax and allow the pain, it will flow without the suffering of resistance, the suffering of denying things as they are. Onwards along the journey to recover the stillness within, the journey to remember our natural divinity.

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Internal Triggers for State Shift

‘Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for thou art with me.’

Jesus Christ

I think a lot of what holds us back from enacting big changes in our lives (changes in relationships, or internal state changes as examples) is that we have a subconscious expectation that some significant external change is necessary to trigger that state shift.

Normally when we move from one powerful emotional state to another, it is accompanied by some significant change in our external circumstances. Maybe I was very happy and peaceful in my meditation then a lawnmower started up and triggered some tension in my chest (resistance to things as they are), maybe someone bumps into me and knocks my ice cream off it’s cone. In any case, when we want to enact great changes in our internal state we seem to depend on some great change in our environment.

It is reasonable that when I am feeling cold, I could go inside or put on a warm jacket. These are material answers to material conditions. But when it comes to emotional states, we should not always look to the material plane for change. For instance, maybe I got a bad grade on a test or perform poorly at work and am feeling ashamed. I might feel compelled to remain in that emotional state until I improve my performance on the next test or at the next performance meeting. The most empowering thing to realize is that a beautiful state of being is available in every moment.

That means that in the deep well of that shame, when you are completely overtaken by a self-deprecating perspective, you have the power to ignite a raging fire of self love whose light will wash away the darkness that consumes you. This type of shift is the meaning of internal alchemy: the ability to bend the energies within ourselves. When we realize that we have the power to shift our own internal states, we stop giving our power away to external conditions.

But how does one go about wrenching the attention away from this all consuming shame? The first thing is to accept how you feel. It is painful to feel shame (or guilt, fear, anger, etc), but what is more painful is feeling ashamed that you are feeling ashamed, feeling angry that you are feeling angry, feeling guilty that you are feeling guilty. Do you see how the judgement creeps in and colors our experience? So step one is to accept how you are feeling, to align yourself with where you are in this moment and realize that it’s okay to feel what you are feeling.

It is only from this stance of acceptance and understanding that we will have the balance and groundedness necessary to start to redirect attention. The spotlight of attention is also the spotlight of creation. Already feeling the relief granted from accepting your current state, you can now gently direct your attention elsewhere. There are many strategies to apply here and I would recommend you follow your intuitions in any moment.

An example from stoicism is negative visualization. You can imagine all sorts of terrible things that could befall you that haven’t in order to cultivate gratitude for the current state of things. You might imagine a life where your sibling was killed, you got cancer and became a quadriplegic. From that place, to be teleported into the exact moment you are in now would be the greatest blessing one could imagine. In other words, the intensity with which we feel negative or positive about our current circumstance is not absolute but relative.

The point I want to drive home here is that we can’t sit around waiting for life to change in a way that will give us permission to change the way we feel or act. Don’t wait for some event to trigger shifts in your internal states, consider developing internal triggers to help you shift into beautiful states more readily.

Mantras can really shine here. I won’t get carried off on a tangent but suffice it to say that the spoken word has much more power than we give it credit for. So repeating mantras like “I am safe” gently and compassionately to yourself or out loud can have a profound impact on feelings like anxiety. “I am enough”, “I am grateful for the sunshine on my face”.

Beyond that you can try putting a soft smile on your face and shifting your posture to be more erect. Feel into your body and consciously relax. Drop your shoulders down and back, let go of the tension in your Jaw and throat. It is often surprising to discover how much tension we hold without even noticing it.

The world is a wild and chaotic place and it is important to recognize that. I often wonder how the ant, who is perpetually an instant away from being crushed by an indifferent shoe, can get on with it’s life. As I lay there, watching him scurry around, I admire his focus and willingness to live despite impending doom. We are much like that ant, constantly on the edge of destruction.

Until we spend the time and energy contemplating the inevitability of our own death, we will hold onto the anxiety which is a manifestation of the unwillingness to be destroyed. To live life fully, unencumbered by doubt and fear, we have to be willing to die, and to keep dying in each moment so that we can be born anew, fresh and ready to willingly participate in the life we have been given.

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How Do I Fix These Imperfections?

‘Since beginningless time, darkness has thrived in the void, but always yields to purifying light.’

The Lion-Turtle

I often find myself wondering what it really means to help someone. Because I have poured significant time and energy into personal growth, I have been exposed to a variety of extremely helpful insights from wise teachers of ancient and modern times. So when a friend comes to me in need, what is the most effective way to help them? This is a process I am still evolving through and at my current phase, I am focusing on a wonderfully simplifying practice. Listening with loving-kindness.

Upon reflection, I have noticed that it is easy for me to get into fix-it mode. After all, that is what I do when I am facing a challenge internally, I investigate my way down to the root of the issue to understand it and unlock its grasp on me. There are many wise techniques and mindsets I have discovered that help facilitate this process. So I often find myself saying “try this!” or “what if you look at it this way!” While I feel there is a place for this kind of guidance, I am finding more and more the importance of quieting down and simply holding a compassionate space where they can move through their own process.

It can be very easy to notice “flaws” in the way that others behave or think. We can forget that even when others are in pain and confused, it is only the wisdom within themselves that can guide them forwards. Most of the time, it seems to me, the best way to help them heal is to give the gift of unconditional love; love that doesn’t grasp at who they are or push them to who they could become. 

The healing power of acceptance is mysterious and powerful. I think fear and doubt hold us back from this. The fear that if we accept who we are or who they are, we will never really change, if we allow ourselves to be just as we are, we will have to acknowledge and live with all our imperfections. Herein lies another great paradox of being, only through relentless acceptance does change really come. 

Part of the mechanism behind this counterintuitive truth lies in the subtle affirmation that comes with denying something. When I say “don’t think of a pink elephant!” we all know where the mind goes. So when I say “if only I could stop being so judgemental of my body!” or “I want to let go of this depression, I am ready! Please!” I am subtly strengthening the position of that which I hope to move beyond. I am affirming that I do not love my body, or that I am depressed.

This is a very funny game we play with ourselves. If someone were to come and tell us “you are choosing to feel depressed” we would be outraged! We know, with certainty, that we want to stop feeling depressed, that we have tried and failed over and over. How dare they suggest it is a choice! But it is that very certainty that keeps us locked up.

So when working with our own emotions, instead of pouring our energy into opposing things as they are, it is essential that we accept the way we feel. We must allow ourselves to be as we are. This is loving-kindness, it is acceptance despite all the imperfection. Something really quite magical happens when we simply (not easily, but simply) allow ourselves to fully feel what we are feeling, to no longer deny or oppose. We start to heal!

It happens naturally and effortlessly because love is underneath all of our opinions and positions. The universe is loving and healing at it’s foundation. Think about it, do you know how you heal a cut on your finger? Not even a little. Every corpuscule of our being is filled with healing light and when we allow ourselves to be as we are, we bring the loving spaciousness necessary for that light to shine.

So when I am with a friend or family member or stranger, I am working to bring more of that loving-kindness into my heart. To see them as they are and accept that they are in the right place on their path of development. The pain that people hold comes to them through the infinite dance of time, it is not our place to judge them or try to fix them. Only when they feel loved will they find the space they need to heal from within.

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Why Seek Truth?

‘Do not think by merely wishing for peace, you will have peace, when in your daily life of relationship you are aggressive, acquisitive, seeking psychological security here or in the hereafter. You have to understand the central cause of conflict and sorrow and then dissolve it and not merely look to the outside for peace. But you see, most of us are indolent. We are too lazy to take hold of ourselves and understand ourselves, and being lazy, which is really a form of conceit, we think others will solve this problem for us and give us peace, or that we should destroy the apparently few people that are causing wars. When the individual is in conflict within himself he must inevitably create conflict without, and only he can bring about peace within himself and so in the world, for he is the world.’

Krishnamurti



In our modern age, we are faced with an enthralling world of possibility. There are so many ways to fill a life that it can be daunting to choose what matters most. I want to propose that the most valuable pursuit in life is the pursuit of Truth. Does this mean you have to abandon all your hopes and dreams? No. In fact, if you choose to probe into the foundations of Reality, you will meet much less resistance on your path to actualizing those dreams.

To pursue Truth means to align your understanding about the way things are with the way things actually are. In other words, it is essential that we develop a worldview that aligns with Reality. By harmonizing with things as they are we won’t feel so pushed around by life. Just as the surfer studies the movement of the ocean, we humans can study the movement of mind and spirit.

By quieting down and observing carefully (meditation), we can become familiar with the patterns of thought and behavior that govern our experience.  Once we see these patterns in effect, we can eliminate the various roots of our suffering and turn our energy to more fruitful endeavors. When we have no clarity of these causal chains, our behavior remains discombobulated. 

Let’s say for example, you want to create some happiness and you have been told that happiness is attained by accumulating large shiny objects, achieving a particular body type, or earning a title like PhD. You may be at this for some time before you realize you aren’t after the right stuff. It is as though you wanted to light a fire so you started rubbing ice cubes together. 

Science has given us a very clear mapping of cause and effect on the material plane. Our reward for having a map that aligns with material reality is technological advancement. We can create computers and rockets and cameras all because we developed a deeper understanding of the way things actually are. How? We took away the chatter of human opinion and looked at reality very carefully, twisting and turning it about to see how it behaves (the scientific method). 

By eliminating the consideration of consciousness, perhaps the most fundamental aspect of Reality, science has made great leaps in understanding the material plane. This method proved successful because consciousness introduces variables that clutter data and make for inconsistent measurement. But somewhere along the way we forgot that every bit of science is still done and observed though consciousness. Finally, with the advent of Quantum Mechanics we have come back around to the fact that the observer is fundamentally inseparable from the world it observes. 

While the scientific community is fumbling over this truth, trying desperately to keep our study in the material plane, spiritual practitioners continue to stare unflinchingly down the rabbit hole of sentient awareness, as they have done for millennia. To seek Truth we must look at all dimensions available to us and so it is natural to develop some sort of science of the mind. 

Buddhists (and many, many others) have been at this since… well, for quite some time. The main issue today is that esoteric discussions of enlightenment have pulled meditation too far away from practicality in the western mind. As a result, our spiritually bankrupt society attempts to frame Mindfulness like any other over-the-counter medication designed to alleviate symptoms. “Stressed? Try some deep breathing!” But many who try meditation half-heartedly recognize that, though they may feel temporary relief, their suffering returns. “If I can’t get enlightened in this life, and meditation doesn’t seem to fix my problems, why practice at all?” they wonder. 

Practice stillness to see more clearly, do it so that your understanding of reality can align with reality. By understanding the mental landscape more clearly, we can clarify and direct our energies more efficiently. In this way we can live a life in greater control of our own experience, we can understand the root of our suffering and take reasonable steps towards peace and stability.

When we live outside of Truth, we exist in opposition to Reality and we generate suffering for ourselves and others. We see conflict in the external world and run about in a frantic mess trying to “fix” things, all the while missing the fact that the conflict we experience originates within. We yell at the person who cut us off in traffic, we are impatient with our children, we say hurtful things to our partners, we lash out because of our pain and in doing so, we reinforce our deeply rooted sense of isolation.

The issues that face our global community will not be overcome until each individual looks courageously within him or herself and strips away all traces of misunderstanding. “I am separate”, “money is equal to security and happiness”, “the universe is fundamentally made of matter”, “I have no control over my health or emotions”, etcetera etcetera. All of these misapprehensions cause us to behave counterproductively. To seek Truth is to come into direct contact with our interconnectedness. It is to see clearly that pain can bring peace if you open up to it. It is to see that all of our efforts to become “successful” are only fueling our dissatisfaction.

Truth is a worthy pursuit because it can produce a value not tied up in paper slips. It can produce a harmonious life marked by joy, freedom and appreciation; a life where it’s easier to act in accordance with our values, find motivation when we’re down and help to bring others up out of the darkness. It takes courage, dedication, intuition and practice but the option is there for all of us. You don’t have to quit your job, but you do have to set up a lifestyle that includes regular reflection and careful observation of the content of your experience.

Meditate and read books or watch videos by people whose words resonate with your deepest being. Within our depths we already know all there is to know. Strip away your assumptions and there Truth will be, patiently waiting for the heart to see it. 

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In Karma or In Grace

‘It is important to expect nothing, to take every experience, including the negative ones, as merely steps on the path, and to proceed.’

Ram Dass

Operating in Karma happens when we are reactive, when we behave unconsciously. Coming into Grace happens when we bring a careful, compassionate awareness to the unfolding of our conscious experience. In the latter state, we shine the light of understanding onto the patterns of unfolding and see clearly the lines of cause and effect that dictate our behavior.

For example, I spill my coffee on myself in the car and become very angry. When observing calmly and compassionately, I notice that I am lashing out for a few reasons: I am experiencing pain (which I wish to avoid), my car is now messy (I like it clean), and I have lost my drink (which I was attached to). By seeing into these patterns of behavior, we can begin to step outside of them, take a deep breath, watch anger come, and redirect that energy to clear apprehension of the reality of the circumstance (i.e. there is coffee spilled, I have lost a loved one, I was called a mean name by a friend, etc.).

Once we see things more clearly, we can act more appropriately and in accordance with, rather than resistance to, Reality.  So when my car gets towed (as happened to me last week), I am not carried away by “oh no, I wish this didn’t happen, this is all your fault, etc.” If a loved one dies, we do not push the truth away, we open up to it and cry our damn souls out. When we begin to step out of these conditioned, unconscious reactions (Karma), we step into Grace.

From the calm heart-center, we are able to embrace our creative powers to generate the reality we wish to see around us. We begin to realize our power to choose our thoughts, to kindly let go of self-destructive fabrications (I am unworthy, I am a failure, I have no power). That does not mean to chastise oneself “how could you be so stupid, why did you do/say that horrible thing!?” It means, in each moment, to drop the story about who you are and what you are doing, and to just love and create. Love yourself, love others and create the moment the way you wish it to be.

It is a terribly difficult pursuit and I daresay it isn’t for everyone. But if you are curious and determined, anyone can make real progress on this path. One essential and effective method is to, in each moment, “love, serve, and remember,” as Ram Dass would say. This means to love everyone (including yourself despite your apparent shortcomings), serve those beings around you (help them to find peace by being patient, open and caring), and remember God (remember that as all this is unfolding, it’s all God, meaning that it is all one united whole, no parts are separate, it is all the song of Universe/Heaven/Tao/Truth/Reality).

If we keep coming back to the moment compassionately, the untruths that we manifest will have no soil to grow in. As we allow these neurotic tendencies to quiet, we come to a still and grounded place deep within our being. From this place, we can weather the storms. Rather we can rip off our clothes and dance in the rain. The only way to be free of suffering in this life is to dive headfirst into the fire. Open up to the pain and nothing can shake you from the peaceful center. This is the destination of spiritual practice as I have come to apprehend it. We each have our own Journey, Godspeed!