Breath of the Violin

We become hypnotized, really; by all the flashing lights, the attention grabbing displays. We are creatures of habit. What are your habits, creature? Are you, like me and so many others, drawn into the incessant, urgent and unquenchable thirst for stimulation? When is the last time you took a shit without looking at your phone? When is the last time you ate a meal without watching or listening to some form of media. When is the last time you woke up in the morning and sat quietly looking at the sunbeams filtering through the leaves outside your window and igniting dust particles like tiny suns.

No, I wake up and I open up instagram. Scroll, scroll, scroll, waiting for the dreariness to fade so that I can finally end the “okay NOW it’s really time to get up” cycle. Take hold of your attention! The way you point your attention is the way you create your future. If the hand molds clay, attention molds the spirit. Are you fixated on fantasies of past and future? I mean RIGHT NOW, are you living in the narrative or is your attention engaged with the entirety of this moment, this moment, as the wind of possibility blows through the flute of your body-mind, as you hold your physical form, slouched and deflated, or tall and dignified. As you furrow your brow, scrunch up your forehead, clench your jaw, and pull your shoulders up and in as if frightened by a night that is too dark and deep.

In breath, out breath, the violin bow that plays your part in the symphony of life. What tone will you sound? Will your melody quiver with the uncertainty of a timid wanderer in foreign lands? Or will your draw be long and smooth, calling out into the endless sea with whispers of love. Will you open up to the unknown, sound the strange and unfamiliar sounds with the peaked curiosity of discovery in full swing?

It’s a wide world and the steps you take are yours. They are all you have really, possessions crumble but the song you sing echoes in the hearts of all you touch and our hearts hold the memory of the evolution of life on this planet. The trauma, the loss, the rage of self preservation, the lessons missed but also the lessons learned. The moments of strength when a soul chose love instead of fear, when the energy of new life and new possibilities overcame the drudgery of conditioning, the momentum of misery.

It’s the little things. It’s those small moments where if you quiet down enough you can hear the whisper “this is important”. When you cough out the words “I love you” to your brother, even though they got stuck in your throat. When you close the laptop and take a step outside for the first time in the day, even though the animal in you that has been seeking comfort and security in the familiar for millenia begs for you to stay under the blanket. When you hold your tongue instead of speaking with reactive anger.

It is with each outbreath that we birth our actions. The energy of new possibilities moves through our conscious and subconscious mind to manifest in action. Our thoughts open up into our lived reality, like a plant sprouting from a seed pod. The astute gardener is careful not to allow weeds to take hold. Like a climbing ivy, self-destructive behaviors crawl in and steal the light of new growth. A fresh you cannot be born when your energy is tied up in patterns that don’t serve you.

Plant seeds of self-love, patience and compassion then reach towards the light. Stretch towards your vision of what could be and be filled with gratitude. Stretch beyond yourself, relax the imagined boundary that places “you” inside your skin and “the world” out there. You are more mixed up in this whole thing than you might think. Through you, the voice of what-is is calling. But don’t squeeze the handle bars, lift up your arms like wings, put on a full body smile, and lean in the direction you want to go.

This world will carry you to your wildest fantasy and beyond. You don’t have to dream big, but dream freely. Dream like you’re a painter and the canvas is all yours. Dream like you lost yourself, then go to the place you would want to find yourself, and there you will be. Dream like the forest is full of mystery and wonder and no one really knows what could be out there. Because it is, and we don’t.

We all put on a face like we know what we are doing. None of us really know what we are doing. We all remember when we realized our parents are just as confused and baffled as the rest of us. When will we admit that we don’t know? We don’t know what we’re doing here. We don’t know how, or why or from where this wild stormy existence sprang.

But here we are, let’s take charge! Let us choose kindness, let us remain open to the life-long lessons of self-care. Let us embrace the furthest reaches of our power to create, to give birth to a new moment, a new way to be here, alive. Evolution is in our hands, on the wings of imagination we will soar to new heights. And poised aloft in this celestial kingdom, we will shine the light of love across all the lands.

How Do I Fix These Imperfections?

‘Since beginningless time, darkness has thrived in the void, but always yields to purifying light.’

The Lion-Turtle

I often find myself wondering what it really means to help someone. Because I have poured significant time and energy into personal growth, I have been exposed to a variety of extremely helpful insights from wise teachers of ancient and modern times. So when a friend comes to me in need, what is the most effective way to help them? This is a process I am still evolving through and at my current phase, I am focusing on a wonderfully simplifying practice. Listening with loving-kindness.

Upon reflection, I have noticed that it is easy for me to get into fix-it mode. After all, that is what I do when I am facing a challenge internally, I investigate my way down to the root of the issue to understand it and unlock its grasp on me. There are many wise techniques and mindsets I have discovered that help facilitate this process. So I often find myself saying “try this!” or “what if you look at it this way!” While I feel there is a place for this kind of guidance, I am finding more and more the importance of quieting down and simply holding a compassionate space where they can move through their own process.

It can be very easy to notice “flaws” in the way that others behave or think. We can forget that even when others are in pain and confused, it is only the wisdom within themselves that can guide them forwards. Most of the time, it seems to me, the best way to help them heal is to give the gift of unconditional love; love that doesn’t grasp at who they are or push them to who they could become. 

The healing power of acceptance is mysterious and powerful. I think fear and doubt hold us back from this. The fear that if we accept who we are or who they are, we will never really change, if we allow ourselves to be just as we are, we will have to acknowledge and live with all our imperfections. Herein lies another great paradox of being, only through relentless acceptance does change really come. 

Part of the mechanism behind this counterintuitive truth lies in the subtle affirmation that comes with denying something. When I say “don’t think of a pink elephant!” we all know where the mind goes. So when I say “if only I could stop being so judgemental of my body!” or “I want to let go of this depression, I am ready! Please!” I am subtly strengthening the position of that which I hope to move beyond. I am affirming that I do not love my body, or that I am depressed.

This is a very funny game we play with ourselves. If someone were to come and tell us “you are choosing to feel depressed” we would be outraged! We know, with certainty, that we want to stop feeling depressed, that we have tried and failed over and over. How dare they suggest it is a choice! But it is that very certainty that keeps us locked up.

So when working with our own emotions, instead of pouring our energy into opposing things as they are, it is essential that we accept the way we feel. We must allow ourselves to be as we are. This is loving-kindness, it is acceptance despite all the imperfection. Something really quite magical happens when we simply (not easily, but simply) allow ourselves to fully feel what we are feeling, to no longer deny or oppose. We start to heal!

It happens naturally and effortlessly because love is underneath all of our opinions and positions. The universe is loving and healing at it’s foundation. Think about it, do you know how you heal a cut on your finger? Not even a little. Every corpuscule of our being is filled with healing light and when we allow ourselves to be as we are, we bring the loving spaciousness necessary for that light to shine.

So when I am with a friend or family member or stranger, I am working to bring more of that loving-kindness into my heart. To see them as they are and accept that they are in the right place on their path of development. The pain that people hold comes to them through the infinite dance of time, it is not our place to judge them or try to fix them. Only when they feel loved will they find the space they need to heal from within.