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In Karma or In Grace

‘It is important to expect nothing, to take every experience, including the negative ones, as merely steps on the path, and to proceed.’

Ram Dass

Operating in Karma happens when we are reactive, when we behave unconsciously. Coming into Grace happens when we bring a careful, compassionate awareness to the unfolding of our conscious experience. In the latter state, we shine the light of understanding onto the patterns of unfolding and see clearly the lines of cause and effect that dictate our behavior.

For example, I spill my coffee on myself in the car and become very angry. When observing calmly and compassionately, I notice that I am lashing out for a few reasons: I am experiencing pain (which I wish to avoid), my car is now messy (I like it clean), and I have lost my drink (which I was attached to). By seeing into these patterns of behavior, we can begin to step outside of them, take a deep breath, watch anger come, and redirect that energy to clear apprehension of the reality of the circumstance (i.e. there is coffee spilled, I have lost a loved one, I was called a mean name by a friend, etc.).

Once we see things more clearly, we can act more appropriately and in accordance with, rather than resistance to, Reality.  So when my car gets towed (as happened to me last week), I am not carried away by “oh no, I wish this didn’t happen, this is all your fault, etc.” If a loved one dies, we do not push the truth away, we open up to it and cry our damn souls out. When we begin to step out of these conditioned, unconscious reactions (Karma), we step into Grace.

From the calm heart-center, we are able to embrace our creative powers to generate the reality we wish to see around us. We begin to realize our power to choose our thoughts, to kindly let go of self-destructive fabrications (I am unworthy, I am a failure, I have no power). That does not mean to chastise oneself “how could you be so stupid, why did you do/say that horrible thing!?” It means, in each moment, to drop the story about who you are and what you are doing, and to just love and create. Love yourself, love others and create the moment the way you wish it to be.

It is a terribly difficult pursuit and I daresay it isn’t for everyone. But if you are curious and determined, anyone can make real progress on this path. One essential and effective method is to, in each moment, “love, serve, and remember,” as Ram Dass would say. This means to love everyone (including yourself despite your apparent shortcomings), serve those beings around you (help them to find peace by being patient, open and caring), and remember God (remember that as all this is unfolding, it’s all God, meaning that it is all one united whole, no parts are separate, it is all the song of Universe/Heaven/Tao/Truth/Reality).

If we keep coming back to the moment compassionately, the untruths that we manifest will have no soil to grow in. As we allow these neurotic tendencies to quiet, we come to a still and grounded place deep within our being. From this place, we can weather the storms. Rather we can rip off our clothes and dance in the rain. The only way to be free of suffering in this life is to dive headfirst into the fire. Open up to the pain and nothing can shake you from the peaceful center. This is the destination of spiritual practice as I have come to apprehend it. We each have our own Journey, Godspeed!

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Fully Engrossed

‘The Kingdom of the Father is spread out upon the earth, but men do not see it.’

Jesus Christ

Have you ever felt so entirely engrossed in a moment that your world feels dominated by the colors and sensations of your perceptual field? Perhaps from the rush of a roller coaster ride, through the textures of a challenging rock climb, or by surrendering to the soul’s engagement in artistic expression. In those moments you feel whole, firmly residing in the recognition that here there is nothing missing, nothing to achieve, nothing to regret… In this place, immersed in the ocean of what-is, we feel spacious and significant and we embody the powerful creativity that is the seed of our being.

This is an experience I remember striking me quite significantly on psychedelics. On one such adventure, under the influence of psilocybin, I was in an open field and needed to take a leak so I crossed a thick tree line and entered into a forest dominated by mangrove-like roots and branches. I remember being struck as heavily as if I had walked through a portal into another world. The whole energy of the place was different and the entire content of my existence seemed novel and fresh. What is the basis of this feeling, and when or how could this come about without the influence of psychoactive chemicals?

Through meditation I have come to experience this sensation quite frequently and the mode of observation that brings it about has become more clear. The key lies in a departure from the dualistic, imagined, and conditioned interpretation of the cosmos. One thing that pulls us into duality is our perception of time. When we look closely, our deeply rooted belief in the structure and movement of time proves to be a very limiting conceptualization.

When we exist in the imagined temporal realm, this moment is a blip. It is a small and relatively insignificant instant cast in the ocean of eternity, floating softly by like a mote of dust through a sunbeam. Some of these moments may hold more weight than others, like the first kiss of a married couple, or the moment just before a car crash, but in essence each of these moments is small when felt in the context of all the moments that make up a life.

In contrast, when we cast off our presumptions about the nature of existence and sit in quiet observation, more and more of our awareness and attention falls upon the reality that sits patiently before us. As this happens, the anxieties rooted in past and future fabrications gently dissolve and we are surrounded by the thick silence that lies behind the quivering air. We breathe in and feel the expansion of our ribcage. The colors around us seem to fill and define our whole being. We are the teal bedspread that we lie on, the dust gently drifting through our gaze.

It is from this place that we can feel the ground of Reality; the ground that is so often talked about but so rarely observed with authenticity. It is here that we can experience the infinite depth and expanse of the present moment. We look closer at the knitted blanket beneath the comforter and notice the winding and fraying threads that but a moment ago were nothing but a flat texture.

When we look deeper, we see the microcosm of complexity to be found within each corpuscle of reality. When we turn our gaze to the sky, we feel the vast expanse of space littered with stars amongst which we drift aimlessly. This is not a small place. This is not a frame within a movie reel. This is not a moment that lacks significance or power. This is eternity. This is the Kingdom of Heaven.