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The Unsatiated Mind

‘When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you’

Lao Tzu

Have you ever stood before the spattering of oranges and purples of a magnificent sunset and felt somehow unable to absorb its beauty? Have you ever gazed out from a mountain top and felt somewhat empty and distanced from the experience? Many of us have felt like ineffective participants in the experience of beauty, as though we can’t find that feeling we know we are supposed to be having.

Have you ever reached the end of a carton of ice cream and felt like you rushed through the joy of eating it, almost as though the pleasure drifted past beyond your reach as the cold creamy dessert made its way across your tongue? All of us have had the experience of feeling unfulfilled by moments like this in our lives. Why does this happen and how can we learn to really taste the sweet nectars of beauty and pleasure in this life?

The key lies in redirecting our attention within. Thanks to the conditioning of a disconnected culture, we have come to expect external circumstances to fulfill our needs and to provide us with the feelings we are looking for. Unfortunately, this mindset will send us on a wild goose chase and bring us frustration as the moments we thought would fill us end up lacking the luster we expected. 

It is essential to recognize that the feeling of incompleteness, of “not enough”, of seeking wholeness without, springs from not feeling whole within ourselves. Why don’t we feel whole? Because we have become alienated from our spirits. We have disconnected from our hearts. We have forgotten that we are already enough, we belong right where we are. There is nothing we need to do to prove we are worthy of love. We are already worthy, imperfections and all.

This sense of alienation arises predominantly from the religion of science – materialism. Our culture is built upon the assumption that the universe is fundamentally composed of lifeless matter. Western science has no place for conscious awareness, or spirit. Therefore, very deep down, we come to feel like imposters on this earth. From that feeling of not belonging, we start to feel like we have to somehow prove ourselves in order to belong. 

Instead of feeling that you are dropped into this strange environment called earth, recognize that you are one of the puzzle pieces that makes up this universe. Each of us is an essential piece of this ocean of consciousness and we are already okay as we are. Of course, we each have to learn how to live from the goodness in our hearts and there is a place for progress and development. But to truly evolve, we have to align with where we are now, because evolution always happens in the present moment. We won’t get anywhere denying ourselves as we are.

Once we start to come into ourselves, we can tune in to the fulfillment that is always available. It is from this place of wholeness that we don’t have to grasp at the sunsets dance of light, and we won’t feel empty once the ice cream is gone. Because those are not the things that fill us up, our hearts are already full of love and acceptance and integration into the greater world that we are a piece of. From this place, we are a geyser of gratitude, not a storm drain of pain endlessly sucking up the waters of life and never feeling full 

From this place, beauty can be found wherever the gaze lands. A dew drop resting tenderly on a drooping leaf is more fulfilling than you could have ever imagined. The tiniest drop of ice cream on your tongue permeates your being with satisfaction and pleasure. With practice, we can even open up to pain (both emotional and physical) and find Joy there too. It may sound silly to suggest that one can feel Joy in wallows of sorrow and grief, but many of us know it to be true.  

Rejoice! You are alive! Life is full of discomfort and pain but if we can learn to relax and allow the pain, it will flow without the suffering of resistance, the suffering of denying things as they are. Onwards along the journey to recover the stillness within, the journey to remember our natural divinity.

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Social Pressure and Self-Judgement

‘I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.’

Bruce Lee

It is essential that we become familiar with the ways in which social pressures impact us. Our fellow humans project a monumental force that will wash over us like a tsunami if we allow tensions to build up and erupt in an earthquake of emotion. In reality, the power that social pressures have over us is projected and represents an externalization of our internal power to create. We generate the expectations that we expect others to have for us, then crumble under the weight.

It is essential to recognize that, ultimately, only self-judgement can throw us off our center. When others judge us, it will only penetrate us if we give it our belief. Because we lack confidence in ourselves, because we have not found our own ground to stand on, when others cast doubts towards us it triggers our own insecurity.

In contrast, for one who has explored themselves, their fears, desires, shortcomings and incredible potential, doubt applied from others loses its power to destabilize. Furthermore, if I am judging others, I am also judging myself. When we judge others, we tend to position ourselves as superior or inferior. In either case, we are placing self worth on a sliding scale and making comparisons between what we observe and our (often poorly defined) ideals.

By placing other people on this scale of “doing it right” vs “doing it wrong”, we frame reality in a way that ends up controlling the way we see ourselves. As a result, we limit our ability to express ourselves with trust and confidence. “Already enough” is the healing spell you can cast here. Speak it out loud and fill it with the power of your belief. “I am already enough!”, “he or she is already enough”.

Look deeply at your worldview. Where do you think your human life came from? Do you feel you were dropped into this world? Popped out of nothingness onto a planet in a vast cosmos of unknowability? No wonder we feel ungrounded. We MUST learn to shift our perspective to belonging. “I belong here, on this earth, living this life. I am a child of mother earth just as much as the animals and plants. I am nature. I am a small piece of this vast ocean of life, of Isness.”

Have you noticed how you feel that you don’t belong, that you have to prove yourself to qualify as a successful life? I went to meditate in the forest and as I sat there, working really quite hard to keep my attention focused, posture erect, to give off good vibes, to be worthy of sharing my presence with this patch of nature, a lizard scurried up a tree in front of me.

I remember being stunned by the ease and elegance with which this creature thrust the full weight of its body straight up the slick trunk of a mighty tree. In that moment it really clicked for me that we try so hard, but for what? So much of the effort with which we trudge our way though life is spent trying to justify ourselves. To prove that we are worthy of love, from our family, our friends, from ourselves.

That lizard taught me that if we relax into our own self-expression, we can achieve great feats without pushing so hard. We can manifest our most beautiful selves by realizing that we are already enough,  we are already a perfect expression of ourselves, there is nothing we must do to prove ourselves.

Now, this would be a really dangerous perspective for a society to take on, you might think. After all, without a sense of responsibility, how would anything get done!? I mean, look around at all the problems we need to fix, if people felt they were enough just as they are, nothing would get done! … Nonsense. When people are released from their inhibitions, they all have the desire to create something, to express something, to share something. The foundation of this universe, and therefore all of us, is creation. All expression is creation and all creation, expression. There is no iota of our life that is not creative self expression.

The way we slouch, how many moments our eyes rest on that particular spot, the tension in our jaws and shoulders, the words we speak, the tone with which we speak them. All of it is creation and all of it is expression. As we learn to work through our tensions, to bring our shadows out into the light, we expand our awareness, we expand our consciousness to encompass more of ourselves. We can then bring more deliberate action in our lives.

When we are not held hostage by limiting beliefs that we project onto ourselves through others, we unlock a special kind of freedom to explore the many ways we can hold ourselves and the many creations we can manifest. Our identity is not this body or this ego, we are the energy benders who can work towards mastering our art.

Life gives us energy, emotion gives us energy, danger gives us energy, the sun gives us energy, food gives us energy. The art of life is bending this energy into the forms of expression we truly want to manifest. When we can recognize and step out of the grooves of behavior that lock us into habitual patterns, when we can open ourselves up to ourselves and to the world, when we can be brave enough to stay vulnerable, that is when we can be free. Free to laugh and free to cry, free to dance and design and wonder.

You will never grow old if you retain the ability to look upon this existence with awe and wonder. We don’t know, and that’s okay. Not knowing is the state of openness that allows all wisdom to flow!