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Behold and Be Held

“There is a community of the spirit.
Join it, and feel the delight
of walking in the noisy street
and being the noise.

Drink all your passion and be a disgrace.
Close both eyes to see with the other eye.
Open your hands if you want to be held…

Move outside the tangle of fear-thinking
Live in Silence.
Flow down and down, 
In always widening rings of being.’

Rumi

To behold and be held, this is the rapturous state. When bird songs from afar quiver within the embrace of your expansive heart. Intimacy with all things. A closeness that forgets there was once two. With arms open, behold the grand song and dance. With restful eyes, be held by the arms of space Herself. Dwell in the ocean of wakefulness. Behold the glory, be held in grace.

This universe is a swirl of containing and contained, though the churning liquid knows no boundaries. Where do I end and you begin? Where is within, where is without? To be full, become empty. No one home. Release into the arms of the beloved where the soothing song of a silent lullaby will warm your soul. Little by little, loosen the grip. A closed hand grasps the acorn, an open hand grasps the infinite. It is the open hand of God that holds you and leaves you free to wander as you please.

Wander home, wander home. The stillness within holds the treasure you seek. The radiant star that lights the cosmos, individuated but not separate. The light from within and the light from without are the same. The ghost that whispers of “me” and “mine” clings to the phantasmagoria. But no one’s home, no one’s home.

No one’s home because we are the home. We are the field, we are the play of light. Shed the heavy shackles of “I am this” and “I am that”. Who are you before you know who you are? Hush, listen slowly my dear. Give up the search, the answer is not hidden in the brush. Face to face with eternal presence. Free falling, no ground beneath. The way to become weightless is to fall eternally. Down, down, heed the call of our mother earth, for us to return to Her.

You can never be alone. You are held by the endless embrace. Behold and be held. See and be seen. Listen and speak, sigh and creek, like the wise old willow who dances in the wind. We can dance too, our spirits free to drift along with the breeze. Oh lovely child of the Ultimate, do you remember? Do you remember where we come from? Do you remember where we’re going?

To behold and be held, the two sides of God’s face reflected in every dew drop. Feel yourself from the outside in. We are not bound up in this narrow prison. Give yourself up, the ultimate release. Bring death to each moment to find your peace. Can you hear it? The thick, swelling silence? Marinate, steep, dissolve, expand. Come home to your soul, bear the blinding light and don’t turn away from the deepest darkness. Dive in, go deeper, deep deep deep down till you lose the seeker.

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Change and the Power of Knowledge

“We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses. Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable, and remove yourself from the unacceptable.”

Jung

How do we bring about change in ourselves and in the world? To change a Rubik’s cube requires knowledge of the object and the way it moves. You must also know how to use your hands and how your movements effect the cube. If you study the patterns carefully, you can learn to put the cube in very particular states. If you study the inner workings, with the right tools you could even take it apart and reconstruct it.

If we wish to bring about change, we must first come to know that which we hope to change. Knowledge begins with observation. Unbiased and non-judgemental observation is a skill that helps us to perceive things as they are. We can direct this attention within to learn about our own nature and habits, or without to gain insight about the movements of the world. Hidden within this ability is the necessity of acceptance. In order to observe things clearly, we must release our preconceptions and have the courage to accept things as they present themselves.

In the martial art Aikido, we learn to bring about change without opposition. Techniques in this art seek the path of least conflict. (Ai) means harmony, (Ki) means energy, and (Do) is the way; Aikido is the way of harmonizing energies. So when the energy of an attacker is thrust upon you, rather than contend the attack directly, you step off center and align your own energy with theirs. From this place of alignment and balance, you can direct the flow of your attackers energy. You have the power to bring about peaceful resolution. 

Aikido teaches us the counterintuitive lesson that opposition is not the best way to bring about change in ourselves or in the world. Instead, knowledge, acceptance, alignment and balance will be our tools for transformation. To bring about change within ourselves, we must first come to know ourselves and find acceptance for who we are. We must align our perception of ourselves with reality and find a place of balance from which to move.

It helps to loosen our grip on narrative and identity. Instead of attaching to the story of who you are and why you feel the way you do, simply ask yourself, “where am I feeling this emotion in my body? What is the real substance of that feeling?” and open yourself up to the experience.

Most of the suffering of challenging emotions arises from resistance to them. Just as blocking a punch with an opposing force is more likely to damage your material body, blocking a negative thought or emotion with an opposing force is more likely to damage your mind and spirit. So when we can open up to the emotion and feel into it, we harmonize with things as they are. Rather than trying to deny the reality of our experience or wishing for it to be another way, we can find acceptance.

It is from this stance, in balance and present with the truth of things, that we can start to direct the flow towards peaceful resolution. By accepting challenging emotions in our hearts, we can relax some of the tension that amplifies our suffering. If one wanted to change the state of a Rubik’s Cube, but they could not accept the reality of its current state, they would have no success.

Let us learn to accept ourselves and the world as it is so that we can align and move towards the positive change we wish to see. Let us not oppose that which we despise, but rather seek to understand it, for it is not through aggression and destruction that we find resolution, but through acceptance and realignment.

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The Unsatiated Mind

‘When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you’

Lao Tzu

Have you ever stood before the spattering of oranges and purples of a magnificent sunset and felt somehow unable to absorb its beauty? Have you ever gazed out from a mountain top and felt somewhat empty and distanced from the experience? Many of us have felt like ineffective participants in the experience of beauty, as though we can’t find that feeling we know we are supposed to be having.

Have you ever reached the end of a carton of ice cream and felt like you rushed through the joy of eating it, almost as though the pleasure drifted past beyond your reach as the cold creamy dessert made its way across your tongue? All of us have had the experience of feeling unfulfilled by moments like this in our lives. Why does this happen and how can we learn to really taste the sweet nectars of beauty and pleasure in this life?

The key lies in redirecting our attention within. Thanks to the conditioning of a disconnected culture, we have come to expect external circumstances to fulfill our needs and to provide us with the feelings we are looking for. Unfortunately, this mindset will send us on a wild goose chase and bring us frustration as the moments we thought would fill us end up lacking the luster we expected. 

It is essential to recognize that the feeling of incompleteness, of “not enough”, of seeking wholeness without, springs from not feeling whole within ourselves. Why don’t we feel whole? Because we have become alienated from our spirits. We have disconnected from our hearts. We have forgotten that we are already enough, we belong right where we are. There is nothing we need to do to prove we are worthy of love. We are already worthy, imperfections and all.

This sense of alienation arises predominantly from the religion of science – materialism. Our culture is built upon the assumption that the universe is fundamentally composed of lifeless matter. Western science has no place for conscious awareness, or spirit. Therefore, very deep down, we come to feel like imposters on this earth. From that feeling of not belonging, we start to feel like we have to somehow prove ourselves in order to belong. 

Instead of feeling that you are dropped into this strange environment called earth, recognize that you are one of the puzzle pieces that makes up this universe. Each of us is an essential piece of this ocean of consciousness and we are already okay as we are. Of course, we each have to learn how to live from the goodness in our hearts and there is a place for progress and development. But to truly evolve, we have to align with where we are now, because evolution always happens in the present moment. We won’t get anywhere denying ourselves as we are.

Once we start to come into ourselves, we can tune in to the fulfillment that is always available. It is from this place of wholeness that we don’t have to grasp at the sunsets dance of light, and we won’t feel empty once the ice cream is gone. Because those are not the things that fill us up, our hearts are already full of love and acceptance and integration into the greater world that we are a piece of. From this place, we are a geyser of gratitude, not a storm drain of pain endlessly sucking up the waters of life and never feeling full 

From this place, beauty can be found wherever the gaze lands. A dew drop resting tenderly on a drooping leaf is more fulfilling than you could have ever imagined. The tiniest drop of ice cream on your tongue permeates your being with satisfaction and pleasure. With practice, we can even open up to pain (both emotional and physical) and find Joy there too. It may sound silly to suggest that one can feel Joy in wallows of sorrow and grief, but many of us know it to be true.  

Rejoice! You are alive! Life is full of discomfort and pain but if we can learn to relax and allow the pain, it will flow without the suffering of resistance, the suffering of denying things as they are. Onwards along the journey to recover the stillness within, the journey to remember our natural divinity.

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Breath of the Violin

We become hypnotized, really; by all the flashing lights, the attention grabbing displays. We are creatures of habit. What are your habits, creature? Are you, like me and so many others, drawn into the incessant, urgent and unquenchable thirst for stimulation? When is the last time you took a shit without looking at your phone? When is the last time you ate a meal without watching or listening to some form of media. When is the last time you woke up in the morning and sat quietly looking at the sunbeams filtering through the leaves outside your window and igniting dust particles like tiny suns.

No, I wake up and I open up instagram. Scroll, scroll, scroll, waiting for the dreariness to fade so that I can finally end the “okay NOW it’s really time to get up” cycle. Take hold of your attention! The way you point your attention is the way you create your future. If the hand molds clay, attention molds the spirit. Are you fixated on fantasies of past and future? I mean RIGHT NOW, are you living in the narrative or is your attention engaged with the entirety of this moment, this moment, as the wind of possibility blows through the flute of your body-mind, as you hold your physical form, slouched and deflated, or tall and dignified. As you furrow your brow, scrunch up your forehead, clench your jaw, and pull your shoulders up and in as if frightened by a night that is too dark and deep.

In breath, out breath, the violin bow that plays your part in the symphony of life. What tone will you sound? Will your melody quiver with the uncertainty of a timid wanderer in foreign lands? Or will your draw be long and smooth, calling out into the endless sea with whispers of love. Will you open up to the unknown, sound the strange and unfamiliar sounds with the peaked curiosity of discovery in full swing?

It’s a wide world and the steps you take are yours. They are all you have really, possessions crumble but the song you sing echoes in the hearts of all you touch and our hearts hold the memory of the evolution of life on this planet. The trauma, the loss, the rage of self preservation, the lessons missed but also the lessons learned. The moments of strength when a soul chose love instead of fear, when the energy of new life and new possibilities overcame the drudgery of conditioning, the momentum of misery.

It’s the little things. It’s those small moments where if you quiet down enough you can hear the whisper “this is important”. When you cough out the words “I love you” to your brother, even though they got stuck in your throat. When you close the laptop and take a step outside for the first time in the day, even though the animal in you that has been seeking comfort and security in the familiar for millenia begs for you to stay under the blanket. When you hold your tongue instead of speaking with reactive anger.

It is with each outbreath that we birth our actions. The energy of new possibilities moves through our conscious and subconscious mind to manifest in action. Our thoughts open up into our lived reality, like a plant sprouting from a seed pod. The astute gardener is careful not to allow weeds to take hold. Like a climbing ivy, self-destructive behaviors crawl in and steal the light of new growth. A fresh you cannot be born when your energy is tied up in patterns that don’t serve you.

Plant seeds of self-love, patience and compassion then reach towards the light. Stretch towards your vision of what could be and be filled with gratitude. Stretch beyond yourself, relax the imagined boundary that places “you” inside your skin and “the world” out there. You are more mixed up in this whole thing than you might think. Through you, the voice of what-is is calling. But don’t squeeze the handle bars, lift up your arms like wings, put on a full body smile, and lean in the direction you want to go.

This world will carry you to your wildest fantasy and beyond. You don’t have to dream big, but dream freely. Dream like you’re a painter and the canvas is all yours. Dream like you lost yourself, then go to the place you would want to find yourself, and there you will be. Dream like the forest is full of mystery and wonder and no one really knows what could be out there. Because it is, and we don’t.

We all put on a face like we know what we are doing. None of us really know what we are doing. We all remember when we realized our parents are just as confused and baffled as the rest of us. When will we admit that we don’t know? We don’t know what we’re doing here. We don’t know how, or why or from where this wild stormy existence sprang.

But here we are, let’s take charge! Let us choose kindness, let us remain open to the life-long lessons of self-care. Let us embrace the furthest reaches of our power to create, to give birth to a new moment, a new way to be here, alive. Evolution is in our hands, on the wings of imagination we will soar to new heights. And poised aloft in this celestial kingdom, we will shine the light of love across all the lands.

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Internal Triggers for State Shift

‘Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for thou art with me.’

Jesus Christ

I think a lot of what holds us back from enacting big changes in our lives (changes in relationships, or internal state changes as examples) is that we have a subconscious expectation that some significant external change is necessary to trigger that state shift.

Normally when we move from one powerful emotional state to another, it is accompanied by some significant change in our external circumstances. Maybe I was very happy and peaceful in my meditation then a lawnmower started up and triggered some tension in my chest (resistance to things as they are), maybe someone bumps into me and knocks my ice cream off it’s cone. In any case, when we want to enact great changes in our internal state we seem to depend on some great change in our environment.

It is reasonable that when I am feeling cold, I could go inside or put on a warm jacket. These are material answers to material conditions. But when it comes to emotional states, we should not always look to the material plane for change. For instance, maybe I got a bad grade on a test or perform poorly at work and am feeling ashamed. I might feel compelled to remain in that emotional state until I improve my performance on the next test or at the next performance meeting. The most empowering thing to realize is that a beautiful state of being is available in every moment.

That means that in the deep well of that shame, when you are completely overtaken by a self-deprecating perspective, you have the power to ignite a raging fire of self love whose light will wash away the darkness that consumes you. This type of shift is the meaning of internal alchemy: the ability to bend the energies within ourselves. When we realize that we have the power to shift our own internal states, we stop giving our power away to external conditions.

But how does one go about wrenching the attention away from this all consuming shame? The first thing is to accept how you feel. It is painful to feel shame (or guilt, fear, anger, etc), but what is more painful is feeling ashamed that you are feeling ashamed, feeling angry that you are feeling angry, feeling guilty that you are feeling guilty. Do you see how the judgement creeps in and colors our experience? So step one is to accept how you are feeling, to align yourself with where you are in this moment and realize that it’s okay to feel what you are feeling.

It is only from this stance of acceptance and understanding that we will have the balance and groundedness necessary to start to redirect attention. The spotlight of attention is also the spotlight of creation. Already feeling the relief granted from accepting your current state, you can now gently direct your attention elsewhere. There are many strategies to apply here and I would recommend you follow your intuitions in any moment.

An example from stoicism is negative visualization. You can imagine all sorts of terrible things that could befall you that haven’t in order to cultivate gratitude for the current state of things. You might imagine a life where your sibling was killed, you got cancer and became a quadriplegic. From that place, to be teleported into the exact moment you are in now would be the greatest blessing one could imagine. In other words, the intensity with which we feel negative or positive about our current circumstance is not absolute but relative.

The point I want to drive home here is that we can’t sit around waiting for life to change in a way that will give us permission to change the way we feel or act. Don’t wait for some event to trigger shifts in your internal states, consider developing internal triggers to help you shift into beautiful states more readily.

Mantras can really shine here. I won’t get carried off on a tangent but suffice it to say that the spoken word has much more power than we give it credit for. So repeating mantras like “I am safe” gently and compassionately to yourself or out loud can have a profound impact on feelings like anxiety. “I am enough”, “I am grateful for the sunshine on my face”.

Beyond that you can try putting a soft smile on your face and shifting your posture to be more erect. Feel into your body and consciously relax. Drop your shoulders down and back, let go of the tension in your Jaw and throat. It is often surprising to discover how much tension we hold without even noticing it.

The world is a wild and chaotic place and it is important to recognize that. I often wonder how the ant, who is perpetually an instant away from being crushed by an indifferent shoe, can get on with it’s life. As I lay there, watching him scurry around, I admire his focus and willingness to live despite impending doom. We are much like that ant, constantly on the edge of destruction.

Until we spend the time and energy contemplating the inevitability of our own death, we will hold onto the anxiety which is a manifestation of the unwillingness to be destroyed. To live life fully, unencumbered by doubt and fear, we have to be willing to die, and to keep dying in each moment so that we can be born anew, fresh and ready to willingly participate in the life we have been given.

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How Do I Fix These Imperfections?

‘Since beginningless time, darkness has thrived in the void, but always yields to purifying light.’

The Lion-Turtle

I often find myself wondering what it really means to help someone. Because I have poured significant time and energy into personal growth, I have been exposed to a variety of extremely helpful insights from wise teachers of ancient and modern times. So when a friend comes to me in need, what is the most effective way to help them? This is a process I am still evolving through and at my current phase, I am focusing on a wonderfully simplifying practice. Listening with loving-kindness.

Upon reflection, I have noticed that it is easy for me to get into fix-it mode. After all, that is what I do when I am facing a challenge internally, I investigate my way down to the root of the issue to understand it and unlock its grasp on me. There are many wise techniques and mindsets I have discovered that help facilitate this process. So I often find myself saying “try this!” or “what if you look at it this way!” While I feel there is a place for this kind of guidance, I am finding more and more the importance of quieting down and simply holding a compassionate space where they can move through their own process.

It can be very easy to notice “flaws” in the way that others behave or think. We can forget that even when others are in pain and confused, it is only the wisdom within themselves that can guide them forwards. Most of the time, it seems to me, the best way to help them heal is to give the gift of unconditional love; love that doesn’t grasp at who they are or push them to who they could become. 

The healing power of acceptance is mysterious and powerful. I think fear and doubt hold us back from this. The fear that if we accept who we are or who they are, we will never really change, if we allow ourselves to be just as we are, we will have to acknowledge and live with all our imperfections. Herein lies another great paradox of being, only through relentless acceptance does change really come. 

Part of the mechanism behind this counterintuitive truth lies in the subtle affirmation that comes with denying something. When I say “don’t think of a pink elephant!” we all know where the mind goes. So when I say “if only I could stop being so judgemental of my body!” or “I want to let go of this depression, I am ready! Please!” I am subtly strengthening the position of that which I hope to move beyond. I am affirming that I do not love my body, or that I am depressed.

This is a very funny game we play with ourselves. If someone were to come and tell us “you are choosing to feel depressed” we would be outraged! We know, with certainty, that we want to stop feeling depressed, that we have tried and failed over and over. How dare they suggest it is a choice! But it is that very certainty that keeps us locked up.

So when working with our own emotions, instead of pouring our energy into opposing things as they are, it is essential that we accept the way we feel. We must allow ourselves to be as we are. This is loving-kindness, it is acceptance despite all the imperfection. Something really quite magical happens when we simply (not easily, but simply) allow ourselves to fully feel what we are feeling, to no longer deny or oppose. We start to heal!

It happens naturally and effortlessly because love is underneath all of our opinions and positions. The universe is loving and healing at it’s foundation. Think about it, do you know how you heal a cut on your finger? Not even a little. Every corpuscule of our being is filled with healing light and when we allow ourselves to be as we are, we bring the loving spaciousness necessary for that light to shine.

So when I am with a friend or family member or stranger, I am working to bring more of that loving-kindness into my heart. To see them as they are and accept that they are in the right place on their path of development. The pain that people hold comes to them through the infinite dance of time, it is not our place to judge them or try to fix them. Only when they feel loved will they find the space they need to heal from within.

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Sickness Within is Sickness Without

‘If you want to awaken all of humanity then awaken all of yourself. If you want to eliminate the suffering of the world, then eliminate all that is dark and negative within yourself. Truly, the greatest gift you have to give is that of your own self-transformation.’

Lao Tzu

Growth and self-discovery is an endless process composed of moments of honesty and vulnerability with oneself and others. Our culture demonizes giving ourselves attention as “selfish”, missing that we can only bring love into the world when we are overflowing within ourselves.

From my limited perspective, the “how can we fix this broken world” mentality is misguided. The world is not a machine with a broken cog. It is made of spirit. It is made of your spirit, and mine. Hatred and anger is a sickness that corrupts our souls. And real injustice is the greatest temptation towards hatred and rage.

MLK Jr. knew “darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.” What we need is irrational forgiveness and compassion. We can’t wait for a reason to believe in love, we have to choose it. Reason will see our mistakes and the mistakes of others in the light of what is right and wrong. From this vantage point, it becomes easy to demonize ourselves and others.

We cannot love ourselves or others completely until we understand that we have acted from a place of ignorance and fear when we have caused pain. To forgive ourselves is to see our imperfections openly and compassionately, realizing that what we regret could instead become fuel to propel us towards the best versions of ourselves.

“Hurt people hurt people.” To recognize this will help bring patience and compassion into our hearts when we perform or witness wrongdoing. It can be especially difficult when we act in opposition to our own understanding of what is right. It is essential to realize that the process of integration is a long and challenging one. Even when we have insights about the nature of kindness and interconnectedness, destructive patterns of action and thought persist from the past, patterns of pain and trauma that has traveled across generations. We must remain patient in the midst of our confusion.

When people do harm to others, it’s because their pain is overflowing. All behavior that does harm comes from insecurity and fear. The only way to heal that in someone is to love them despite the hurt they cause. To recognize that we all have pain and fear in our hearts is the first step to cultivating compassion and forgiveness.

If we can feel that we have permission to take care of ourselves, we can heal. And when we heal we can bring our natural and radiant selves to the world. We are each a piece of this reality so to heal ourselves IS to heal the planet. We are not on the planet, we are of the planet, just like the birds and bees and clouds and trees. We are not other than nature and our sickness within is the sickness without.

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Why Seek Truth?

‘Do not think by merely wishing for peace, you will have peace, when in your daily life of relationship you are aggressive, acquisitive, seeking psychological security here or in the hereafter. You have to understand the central cause of conflict and sorrow and then dissolve it and not merely look to the outside for peace. But you see, most of us are indolent. We are too lazy to take hold of ourselves and understand ourselves, and being lazy, which is really a form of conceit, we think others will solve this problem for us and give us peace, or that we should destroy the apparently few people that are causing wars. When the individual is in conflict within himself he must inevitably create conflict without, and only he can bring about peace within himself and so in the world, for he is the world.’

Krishnamurti



In our modern age, we are faced with an enthralling world of possibility. There are so many ways to fill a life that it can be daunting to choose what matters most. I want to propose that the most valuable pursuit in life is the pursuit of Truth. Does this mean you have to abandon all your hopes and dreams? No. In fact, if you choose to probe into the foundations of Reality, you will meet much less resistance on your path to actualizing those dreams.

To pursue Truth means to align your understanding about the way things are with the way things actually are. In other words, it is essential that we develop a worldview that aligns with Reality. By harmonizing with things as they are we won’t feel so pushed around by life. Just as the surfer studies the movement of the ocean, we humans can study the movement of mind and spirit.

By quieting down and observing carefully (meditation), we can become familiar with the patterns of thought and behavior that govern our experience.  Once we see these patterns in effect, we can eliminate the various roots of our suffering and turn our energy to more fruitful endeavors. When we have no clarity of these causal chains, our behavior remains discombobulated. 

Let’s say for example, you want to create some happiness and you have been told that happiness is attained by accumulating large shiny objects, achieving a particular body type, or earning a title like PhD. You may be at this for some time before you realize you aren’t after the right stuff. It is as though you wanted to light a fire so you started rubbing ice cubes together. 

Science has given us a very clear mapping of cause and effect on the material plane. Our reward for having a map that aligns with material reality is technological advancement. We can create computers and rockets and cameras all because we developed a deeper understanding of the way things actually are. How? We took away the chatter of human opinion and looked at reality very carefully, twisting and turning it about to see how it behaves (the scientific method). 

By eliminating the consideration of consciousness, perhaps the most fundamental aspect of Reality, science has made great leaps in understanding the material plane. This method proved successful because consciousness introduces variables that clutter data and make for inconsistent measurement. But somewhere along the way we forgot that every bit of science is still done and observed though consciousness. Finally, with the advent of Quantum Mechanics we have come back around to the fact that the observer is fundamentally inseparable from the world it observes. 

While the scientific community is fumbling over this truth, trying desperately to keep our study in the material plane, spiritual practitioners continue to stare unflinchingly down the rabbit hole of sentient awareness, as they have done for millennia. To seek Truth we must look at all dimensions available to us and so it is natural to develop some sort of science of the mind. 

Buddhists (and many, many others) have been at this since… well, for quite some time. The main issue today is that esoteric discussions of enlightenment have pulled meditation too far away from practicality in the western mind. As a result, our spiritually bankrupt society attempts to frame Mindfulness like any other over-the-counter medication designed to alleviate symptoms. “Stressed? Try some deep breathing!” But many who try meditation half-heartedly recognize that, though they may feel temporary relief, their suffering returns. “If I can’t get enlightened in this life, and meditation doesn’t seem to fix my problems, why practice at all?” they wonder. 

Practice stillness to see more clearly, do it so that your understanding of reality can align with reality. By understanding the mental landscape more clearly, we can clarify and direct our energies more efficiently. In this way we can live a life in greater control of our own experience, we can understand the root of our suffering and take reasonable steps towards peace and stability.

When we live outside of Truth, we exist in opposition to Reality and we generate suffering for ourselves and others. We see conflict in the external world and run about in a frantic mess trying to “fix” things, all the while missing the fact that the conflict we experience originates within. We yell at the person who cut us off in traffic, we are impatient with our children, we say hurtful things to our partners, we lash out because of our pain and in doing so, we reinforce our deeply rooted sense of isolation.

The issues that face our global community will not be overcome until each individual looks courageously within him or herself and strips away all traces of misunderstanding. “I am separate”, “money is equal to security and happiness”, “the universe is fundamentally made of matter”, “I have no control over my health or emotions”, etcetera etcetera. All of these misapprehensions cause us to behave counterproductively. To seek Truth is to come into direct contact with our interconnectedness. It is to see clearly that pain can bring peace if you open up to it. It is to see that all of our efforts to become “successful” are only fueling our dissatisfaction.

Truth is a worthy pursuit because it can produce a value not tied up in paper slips. It can produce a harmonious life marked by joy, freedom and appreciation; a life where it’s easier to act in accordance with our values, find motivation when we’re down and help to bring others up out of the darkness. It takes courage, dedication, intuition and practice but the option is there for all of us. You don’t have to quit your job, but you do have to set up a lifestyle that includes regular reflection and careful observation of the content of your experience.

Meditate and read books or watch videos by people whose words resonate with your deepest being. Within our depths we already know all there is to know. Strip away your assumptions and there Truth will be, patiently waiting for the heart to see it. 

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Social Pressure and Self-Judgement

‘I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.’

Bruce Lee

It is essential that we become familiar with the ways in which social pressures impact us. Our fellow humans project a monumental force that will wash over us like a tsunami if we allow tensions to build up and erupt in an earthquake of emotion. In reality, the power that social pressures have over us is projected and represents an externalization of our internal power to create. We generate the expectations that we expect others to have for us, then crumble under the weight.

It is essential to recognize that, ultimately, only self-judgement can throw us off our center. When others judge us, it will only penetrate us if we give it our belief. Because we lack confidence in ourselves, because we have not found our own ground to stand on, when others cast doubts towards us it triggers our own insecurity.

In contrast, for one who has explored themselves, their fears, desires, shortcomings and incredible potential, doubt applied from others loses its power to destabilize. Furthermore, if I am judging others, I am also judging myself. When we judge others, we tend to position ourselves as superior or inferior. In either case, we are placing self worth on a sliding scale and making comparisons between what we observe and our (often poorly defined) ideals.

By placing other people on this scale of “doing it right” vs “doing it wrong”, we frame reality in a way that ends up controlling the way we see ourselves. As a result, we limit our ability to express ourselves with trust and confidence. “Already enough” is the healing spell you can cast here. Speak it out loud and fill it with the power of your belief. “I am already enough!”, “he or she is already enough”.

Look deeply at your worldview. Where do you think your human life came from? Do you feel you were dropped into this world? Popped out of nothingness onto a planet in a vast cosmos of unknowability? No wonder we feel ungrounded. We MUST learn to shift our perspective to belonging. “I belong here, on this earth, living this life. I am a child of mother earth just as much as the animals and plants. I am nature. I am a small piece of this vast ocean of life, of Isness.”

Have you noticed how you feel that you don’t belong, that you have to prove yourself to qualify as a successful life? I went to meditate in the forest and as I sat there, working really quite hard to keep my attention focused, posture erect, to give off good vibes, to be worthy of sharing my presence with this patch of nature, a lizard scurried up a tree in front of me.

I remember being stunned by the ease and elegance with which this creature thrust the full weight of its body straight up the slick trunk of a mighty tree. In that moment it really clicked for me that we try so hard, but for what? So much of the effort with which we trudge our way though life is spent trying to justify ourselves. To prove that we are worthy of love, from our family, our friends, from ourselves.

That lizard taught me that if we relax into our own self-expression, we can achieve great feats without pushing so hard. We can manifest our most beautiful selves by realizing that we are already enough,  we are already a perfect expression of ourselves, there is nothing we must do to prove ourselves.

Now, this would be a really dangerous perspective for a society to take on, you might think. After all, without a sense of responsibility, how would anything get done!? I mean, look around at all the problems we need to fix, if people felt they were enough just as they are, nothing would get done! … Nonsense. When people are released from their inhibitions, they all have the desire to create something, to express something, to share something. The foundation of this universe, and therefore all of us, is creation. All expression is creation and all creation, expression. There is no iota of our life that is not creative self expression.

The way we slouch, how many moments our eyes rest on that particular spot, the tension in our jaws and shoulders, the words we speak, the tone with which we speak them. All of it is creation and all of it is expression. As we learn to work through our tensions, to bring our shadows out into the light, we expand our awareness, we expand our consciousness to encompass more of ourselves. We can then bring more deliberate action in our lives.

When we are not held hostage by limiting beliefs that we project onto ourselves through others, we unlock a special kind of freedom to explore the many ways we can hold ourselves and the many creations we can manifest. Our identity is not this body or this ego, we are the energy benders who can work towards mastering our art.

Life gives us energy, emotion gives us energy, danger gives us energy, the sun gives us energy, food gives us energy. The art of life is bending this energy into the forms of expression we truly want to manifest. When we can recognize and step out of the grooves of behavior that lock us into habitual patterns, when we can open ourselves up to ourselves and to the world, when we can be brave enough to stay vulnerable, that is when we can be free. Free to laugh and free to cry, free to dance and design and wonder.

You will never grow old if you retain the ability to look upon this existence with awe and wonder. We don’t know, and that’s okay. Not knowing is the state of openness that allows all wisdom to flow!

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In Karma or In Grace

‘It is important to expect nothing, to take every experience, including the negative ones, as merely steps on the path, and to proceed.’

Ram Dass

Operating in Karma happens when we are reactive, when we behave unconsciously. Coming into Grace happens when we bring a careful, compassionate awareness to the unfolding of our conscious experience. In the latter state, we shine the light of understanding onto the patterns of unfolding and see clearly the lines of cause and effect that dictate our behavior.

For example, I spill my coffee on myself in the car and become very angry. When observing calmly and compassionately, I notice that I am lashing out for a few reasons: I am experiencing pain (which I wish to avoid), my car is now messy (I like it clean), and I have lost my drink (which I was attached to). By seeing into these patterns of behavior, we can begin to step outside of them, take a deep breath, watch anger come, and redirect that energy to clear apprehension of the reality of the circumstance (i.e. there is coffee spilled, I have lost a loved one, I was called a mean name by a friend, etc.).

Once we see things more clearly, we can act more appropriately and in accordance with, rather than resistance to, Reality.  So when my car gets towed (as happened to me last week), I am not carried away by “oh no, I wish this didn’t happen, this is all your fault, etc.” If a loved one dies, we do not push the truth away, we open up to it and cry our damn souls out. When we begin to step out of these conditioned, unconscious reactions (Karma), we step into Grace.

From the calm heart-center, we are able to embrace our creative powers to generate the reality we wish to see around us. We begin to realize our power to choose our thoughts, to kindly let go of self-destructive fabrications (I am unworthy, I am a failure, I have no power). That does not mean to chastise oneself “how could you be so stupid, why did you do/say that horrible thing!?” It means, in each moment, to drop the story about who you are and what you are doing, and to just love and create. Love yourself, love others and create the moment the way you wish it to be.

It is a terribly difficult pursuit and I daresay it isn’t for everyone. But if you are curious and determined, anyone can make real progress on this path. One essential and effective method is to, in each moment, “love, serve, and remember,” as Ram Dass would say. This means to love everyone (including yourself despite your apparent shortcomings), serve those beings around you (help them to find peace by being patient, open and caring), and remember God (remember that as all this is unfolding, it’s all God, meaning that it is all one united whole, no parts are separate, it is all the song of Universe/Heaven/Tao/Truth/Reality).

If we keep coming back to the moment compassionately, the untruths that we manifest will have no soil to grow in. As we allow these neurotic tendencies to quiet, we come to a still and grounded place deep within our being. From this place, we can weather the storms. Rather we can rip off our clothes and dance in the rain. The only way to be free of suffering in this life is to dive headfirst into the fire. Open up to the pain and nothing can shake you from the peaceful center. This is the destination of spiritual practice as I have come to apprehend it. We each have our own Journey, Godspeed!